Around 1-2 years ago, I was having black tarry stools and abdominal pain. My family doctor referred me to the hospital to do a colonoscopy.

I worked on eating healthier most days a week, reducing my smoking and cutting down from 5 drinks a week to 2 after diagnosis.

I opted to do a partial colectomy and chemotherapy, according to my doctor’s recommendation. I relied on some traditional Chinese medicine to support my recovery. After deciding on my treatment I felt a bit happier, but still a little anxious. Unfortunately, the treatment plan wasn’t as effective as expected. The cancer spread to nearby lymph nodes and could not be removed. After doing my own research as well, now I’ve started on radiation therapy as well. I felt more anxious and scared after the change as well.

I also had some difficulty funding the additional cost of radiation, and had to take out a loan.

In terms of side effects, the ones that affected me the most were: diarrhea, appetite loss, nausea and vomiting.

To manage them, I relied on eating better and medication from my doctor.

Since starting treatment, the one permanent change I’ve focused on is cutting down my drinking.

Before I knew I had cancer

• Called/texted my parents 2 times a week
• Visited my parents 2 times a week
• Was intimate with my partner 2 times a month

After knowing I had cancer

• Called/texted my parents 4 times a week
• Visited my parents 4 times a week
• Was intimate with my partner 0 times a month

My only plans for now are to focus on chemo and radiation. Personally, my biggest dream is to grow old and be healthy with my partner, which motivated me to stay strong.

Recurrence and serious side effects are what I fear most. What kept me going was talking to my doctors about my fears, and praying to God.

Now, I just feel sad.

To others, I would say: “Eat healthily, exercise a bit more to be strong for treatment. Try your best.”