I was found to have a large ovarian cyst from back pain and when they did the MRI they found a thickening on the bowel. That’s how I found out I had stage 3 colorectal cancer.

Hearing the news, I was fearful and surprised. I was the first in the family with cancer in 40 years and was only expecting to have a hysterectomy, not cancer.

For my treatment, I followed my doctor’s recommendation and went ahead with:

• A partial colectomy (removal of a part of the colon)
• Chemotherapy
• Radiation therapy

There was a complication with the original operation. The stoma wasn’t working, so l had to undergo a second operation the following week. They went through the same incision and l ended up with an infection and a wound approximately 8 inches long and 3 inches deep as l am a heavy person. With the infection they had to open the wound and it took 18 weeks to fully heal.

As there was no sign of cancer at that stage I was told l didn't need chemo. Unfortunately in March when the cancer came back I needed treatment. It was July before I started the chemo and radiation for a 5-day week for 5 weeks. I had to go off the Capecitabine after 3 weeks as neutrophils went too low and I was sick daily and spent the last week in hospital. Ended the radiation in August and waiting on scans for what's coming next. I’ll be on FOLFOX starting next month (November 2024).

Fortunately, I live in Ireland and have a medical card and once referred, all treatments are free.

Deciding on this treatment plan made me fearful. I lost my friend to cancer last November. She was only diagnosed 6 months before she passed and I’m worried about what's ahead.

I now have a temporary stoma and I did have preconceived notions about it. I was afraid of the smells and worried about leakage, if the bag would dislodge and the visibility of the bag to others. My brother-in-law has a permanent stoma with a hernia behind it and I was always afraid that's what everyone with a stoma looked like. Having a stoma bag affected me very much in the following ways:

• Lowered self-esteem
• Reduced physical intimacy
• Inability to eat favorite foods
• Altered body image
• Increased social anxiety

Unfortunately, I did suffer from a few side effects. I was most affected by fatigue; the tiredness made me stay in the house for weeks. Apart from that, I also lost my appetite and had nausea and vomiting. I managed these side effects by self-medicating.

I don’t smoke or drink, so the only medical advice I was recommended was related to exercise and nutrition. My nutrition and diet changed the most after treatment. There's a lot of foods I cannot eat anymore because it might cause blockages.

As for personal plans, I have none apart from trying to stay alive as long as possible.

I faced challenges in my social life and relationships and day-to-day life, but was most affected by self-esteem and self-image. While my husband has been very caring he hasn't been intimate with me since my diagnosis. A lot of this is because of my fear of leakage, and it's the same wherever I go. I’m constantly checking for leaks.

Trying to protect my elderly parents from the fears – that was my biggest concern throughout my experience with cancer. But I got the support of my sisters who gave a gentler version to them.

It’s been years since my initial cancer diagnosis, but I’m still fearful and sad. After having it removed in January I had a lot of complications. In March it returned in the same area and another area close to it.

In terms of practical advice, when l was having the chemo and radiation treatment, the best things were rest and anything ginger for nausea. Also, I was lucky l had wonderful hospital staff. In the 4 months I was in the hospital they would sit and tell me how it was straight out. No pussyfooting around.

Find someone to talk to who understands. Someone who has, or has had cancer, preferably one with the same type as you. It's ok that people are saying they're sorry for you but it takes someone going through the same thing to really be able to support you. God bless ye all.